3/08/2006
Bread and Jam For Francis
05/10/1996
Someday, when I grow up I’ll live in the attic of the peeling paint house down by Mill. And sometimes at night I’ll come down from the attic and when I walk out the back door I’ll be on a beach. And no one else will be there because no one can go there but me. And one night I’ll build an enormous sand-castle on it and when it’s done it’ll get bigger or I’ll get smaller or the world will get more accommodating and I’ll walk into it and I’ll live in it, in an enormous sand-castle. And one night I’ll leave it through a small scullery door and be in a field that borders on an immense forest. And there will be a trail that no one but me can see. And I’ll follow it until I come to a small clearing, all soft moss which is good because by that point I’ll be naked and barefoot. And in the middle of the clearing will be a pool. The sides and bottom will be dark blue stone and the water will be clear and clean and blue. And I’ll step into it and after a while I’ll close my eyes and slowly sleeping sink to the bottom. Then my body will disappear somewhere so as not to clutter it up any and I’ll be off on my next incarnation.
“An unbelieved truth can hurt a man more than a lie.”
“People are interested only in themselves….a great and lasting story is about everyone or it will not last.”
“There’s more beauty in the truth even if it is dreadful beauty.”
“When a man dies….Envies are gone, and the measuring stick is: ‘Was he loved or was he hated? Is his death felt as a loss or does a kind of joy come of it?’”
“It is one of the triumphs of the human that he can know a thing and still not believe it.”
“Money’s easy to make if it’s money you want. But with a few exceptions people don’t want money. They want luxury and they want love and they want admiration.”
“When you’re a child you’re the center of everything. Everything happens for you. Other people? They’re only ghosts furnished for you to talk to. But when you grow up you take your place and you’re your own size and shape. Things go out of you to others and come in from other people.”
East of Eden John Steinbeck
“Everyone wants to be something. Everyone has some secret aspiration that they don’t follow through with.”
Jared Loran Howard Blood
11/01/1994 Halloween
After trick-or-treating we went back to Scooby’s house, and after sitting with his family a while we went up to his room to talk. Scooby said that nobody takes care of him, that he has to take care of me and Loren but nobody takes care of him. I offered to, but Scooby said he didn’t want me to. Then I said that everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes, and I could do that then. I know I’m not the person he wants, but I didn’t say it. Someday, hopefully someday soon, Scooby will find a guy, but until that friends are better than nothing. Anyways, then Scooby told me that I do take care of him sometimes, like listening to him talking about guys. I hope I do, someone has to. It seems like me and Scooby are becoming close friends again. I hope we are, I really miss being good friends with him. ¶ 12:50 AM
Someday, when I grow up I’ll live in the attic of the peeling paint house down by Mill. And sometimes at night I’ll come down from the attic and when I walk out the back door I’ll be on a beach. And no one else will be there because no one can go there but me. And one night I’ll build an enormous sand-castle on it and when it’s done it’ll get bigger or I’ll get smaller or the world will get more accommodating and I’ll walk into it and I’ll live in it, in an enormous sand-castle. And one night I’ll leave it through a small scullery door and be in a field that borders on an immense forest. And there will be a trail that no one but me can see. And I’ll follow it until I come to a small clearing, all soft moss which is good because by that point I’ll be naked and barefoot. And in the middle of the clearing will be a pool. The sides and bottom will be dark blue stone and the water will be clear and clean and blue. And I’ll step into it and after a while I’ll close my eyes and slowly sleeping sink to the bottom. Then my body will disappear somewhere so as not to clutter it up any and I’ll be off on my next incarnation.
“An unbelieved truth can hurt a man more than a lie.”
“People are interested only in themselves….a great and lasting story is about everyone or it will not last.”
“There’s more beauty in the truth even if it is dreadful beauty.”
“When a man dies….Envies are gone, and the measuring stick is: ‘Was he loved or was he hated? Is his death felt as a loss or does a kind of joy come of it?’”
“It is one of the triumphs of the human that he can know a thing and still not believe it.”
“Money’s easy to make if it’s money you want. But with a few exceptions people don’t want money. They want luxury and they want love and they want admiration.”
“When you’re a child you’re the center of everything. Everything happens for you. Other people? They’re only ghosts furnished for you to talk to. But when you grow up you take your place and you’re your own size and shape. Things go out of you to others and come in from other people.”
East of Eden John Steinbeck
“Everyone wants to be something. Everyone has some secret aspiration that they don’t follow through with.”
Jared Loran Howard Blood
11/01/1994 Halloween
After trick-or-treating we went back to Scooby’s house, and after sitting with his family a while we went up to his room to talk. Scooby said that nobody takes care of him, that he has to take care of me and Loren but nobody takes care of him. I offered to, but Scooby said he didn’t want me to. Then I said that everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes, and I could do that then. I know I’m not the person he wants, but I didn’t say it. Someday, hopefully someday soon, Scooby will find a guy, but until that friends are better than nothing. Anyways, then Scooby told me that I do take care of him sometimes, like listening to him talking about guys. I hope I do, someone has to. It seems like me and Scooby are becoming close friends again. I hope we are, I really miss being good friends with him. ¶ 12:50 AM
