There isn't anything I really want. Or,
if there is, I want it the way a baby
goes after things that catch its attention -
single-mindedly going after it until something else
shines and distracts me and I go after
that. And I am easily distracted.
When I want something it's because of
the way its shine appeals; I don't
really want it. I would like to go
somewhere formal in a huge cloud wedding
dress, I don't really want the dress.
I want to see the
ocean because of the way Jay
describes it. And I like the idea
of building a sand-castle and going
on an adventure with no boring
grown-ups getting in the way. But would
I actually enjoy it? Probably. I can
enjoy nearly anything. Or convince
myself I am, is it the same thing?
I would like to build an enormous
sand castle. I would like to go splashing
about in the waves. I would like
to look at the long haunted
trails moonlight makes on snow and sand
and follow them. I would like to
sit in a cave and listen to someone
tell me stories. I would like to build
s'mores and tell
ghost stories until everyone keeps
looking furtively about them.
