Random Lack of Violence I went out for lunch with Chuck today,
afterwards we went to a comic book store. I was
looking at some magazines and he walked by and
grinned and smacked my ass. I was a bit
shocked; he rarely shows me any affection.
And that is not the sort I expect in
public places. It took me a moment to
remember it was meant as affection, as a
friendly thing. It is still a kind of
audacity. I remembered when I went to NSA
and Jay and I were just friends, I walked
past him to get a drink of water, he was
sitting in the hall against the wall with
Collin and some kids and Jay reached up
and smacked my ass. “Now you’ve done it,”
Collin said, laughing. I kicked him hard.
And I couldn’t help wondering what Jay
might have thought if he’d seen Chuck
slap me, and how I let him. Not in a
jealous sort of way, but just in a contrast
of the two moments. What exactly has
changed? And if it had been Jay today, or
if Chuck was younger, would I have hit him
back? I have yet to detect any
traces of masochism in him, and I can
usually find them very quickly in men.  ¶ 5:38 AM