Yom Kippur Week 10.05.00
12.21.03

I forgot I knew how to be hungry.
Someone was making popcorn cakes. A girl was screaming as
an obscenely large spider advanced on her and I just
wanted her to shut up shut up shut up her
screaming was so terribly loud it hurt my head and then
I opened my eyes in bed but I could still hear her
screaming and my head ached and ached. Someone
called my name.
I dreampt I was stalling. I dreampt I went out
looking for my Master, trying to retrace steps
mistaken or untaken. Telephone were never in the right
place and I could not find his number. It is that
sort of terrible dream where you are desperately
seeking something without even knowing why. I e-mailed
him at 3 different adresses, each was promptly
sent back by a demon who politely informed me
my Master no longer existed, not at that adress. And all
I could think was, oh I have to find him.
I stood in a red box in a woman’s toilet, crying
for no good reason. I swallowed pills and pills but
they weren't chocolate-coated like they normally are
and stuck grainy, dissolving ackwardly in my throat.
Asleep/Awake I’m always taking pills. My
intestines could be a pharmacy.  ¶ 2:18 PM